In the autumn of 2019 I was invited to sign a contract with Routledge Education to write a book – what?!?!?! Seriously, I was so excited about this opportunity and it felt like a bit of a dream. I’d taken the chance to share my book idea with them after receiving an email about something else, I literally jumped onto the back of something and created the chance to pitch my book idea. It worked and I went straight into writing mode. I spent time at the local university library, read lots of current research in the subject area and wrote.

I made time alongside my busy training business and various volunteering roles and was making good progress. 

Then COVID hit. In March 2020 we were all put into lockdown. All of my work and all volunteering just evaporated. This should have given me the exact conditions for finishing my book but it had the opposite effect. I find it hard to explain but writing was the last thing I wanted to do. My brain shut down, went into a weird hibernation that meant anything more complicated than simply getting through each day was beyond me. 

My confidence took a big hit, part of me kept wondering how I could write this book seeing as I was no longer working in the grassroots of the sector, part of me felt like a failure for not having any work, part of me was scared about COVID and the impact this could have on the world around me. I did a lot of doom scrolling and was glued to the news to keep up to date with events at home and abroad. 

Eventually we started to emerge from the lockdown and I got brave about approaching clients to see if they wanted me to deliver online. Some did and I returned to a work schedule that felt meaningful even if it was far from as full as pre-COVID. 

Slowly, I got back to writing; but it was very slow. 

In between short bursts of enthusiasm, I found myself in long, drawn out periods of self-doubt, writer’s block, low-confidence, and a feeling of strong resistance to writing. 

I kept finding new or emerging technology that made my research look out of date and the DofE released a revised version of the curriculum that removed the early learning goal about technology! How out of date was I???

I shared some of my concerns with my editor, with friends, with business buddies but not all of it, mostly I hid away, buried my head in the sand and contemplated simply not finishing the book.

Earlier this autumn, out of the blue the new editorial assistant emailed me, asking for an update on the book. I froze, panicked and ignored the email for about 2 weeks. Then, without any planning, I replied. I shared some of my self-doubt, some of the challenges, and simply writing them down, helped to ease them. In writing that email, I created an action plan for the next steps I knew I needed to take to get the book finished, and then I sent it.

It was out there and I now had to follow it through; so I did.

The past 2 weeks have seen me being very productive, sending in work for my editor to read and review, her comments have blown me away. ‘I enjoyed reading this chapter. The guidance is very clear, and I’m very happy with this chapter.’  WOW, that has been said by an editor about my writing!

It has provided me with a big confidence boost and the desire to write and publish a book has returned. 

So, not too much longer to wait…the book is getting closer to being released into the wild and you’ll be the first to hear about it.

There is still room for images from your setting in the book to help bring it to life. If you have some you can share or want to know more, please do email me fionajoines@gmail.com